mario party more like if you steal one more of my stars i’ll fucking murder you
The family business…
IS THAT ADAM IN THE CAGE
I bet John is a zero coke because that’s the number of fucks he gave about his children.
oh look, they’re all empty inside
WAS THAT NECESSARY
I am dead at Adam.
Also, Adam isn’t empty! Also, I like how Sams name is the same color as johns because he was always more like their dad but deans name is white with red around it because he always tried to be like their dad but never really was.
next on psychoanalyzing coke bottles
SUCH A BABY.
OKAY I have to drop some newly acquired knowledge, and maybe a lot of people already know this BUT LISTEN
Hippos are, like…real, living land whales. It’s been genetically proven that their closest relatives are NOT pigs as was once believed, but whales! Hippos even make whistles and clicks underwater to communicate as well as help them “see” in murky waters.
They also have some incredibly thick skin that is extremely difficult to cut, and when they do get injured their skin secretes a special fluid that acts like a natural antibiotic ointment that prevents infections and speeds up the healing process. And this fluid turns blood red when it meets the air, so it looks pretty badass, too.
Also, the bones in their limbs are SOLID. There is no marrow, no hollow space, they are 100% BONE, MOTHERFUCKER. It helps weigh them down in the water so they can more easily submerge, and it helps support their weight on land. These bones can withstand the impact of a running hippo, and they aren’t slow, either!
Hippos are also responsible for more human deaths annually than crocodiles or other predators like lions and so on. Because they don’t take no shit, bro.
HIPPOS ARE REALLY FREAKING COOL, YOU GUYS.
*whispers* the number one cause of baby hippo deaths is adult male hippos
That’s because somewhere between that adorable squishy above and adulthood, they become one of the most aggressive animals on earth.
—Back in Your Head
Back in Your Head - Tegan and Sara (The Con; 2007)